their picks for fantasy football. yeah, i'm excited. if you're not familiar with fantasy football, it's kind of like "dungeons & dragons" -- [ light laughter ] -- for the people who beat up the people who play "dungeons & dragons." [ laughter ] so it's really -- [ cheers and applause ] when i pick my fantasy football players, i always consider three things. how long has he been in the league? how much up side does he have? and when is he getting out of prison? [ laughter and applause ] and that's how i pick my dudes. hey, guys, listen to this. the maker of botox has been ordered to pay $600 million after marketing the drug for unapproved uses. in a statement, botox said, "even if it's hard to tell from our expression, we are extremely disappointed by this decision." [ laughter and applause ] this is an important story. at the white house yesterday,

president obama told israelis and palestinians to reach a peace deal, because they might not get another chance soon. [ light laughter ] that's not really a peace plan. that's how you get a 5-year-old to use the bathroom. [ laughter ] it's like, "are you sure? we're not going to come back here. you sure? all right. are you sure?" [ laughter ] check this out, an airline in sweden plans to host the first ever in-flight gay wedding in december. yep. the entire flight crew is excited for the event, although the right wing isn't happy about it. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] [ rim shot ] this is exciting. the united states beat iran, 88-51 yesterday in the knockout round of the world basketball championship. yep, apparently that's very good. [ applause ] apparently iran is still years away from developing a long-range three-pointer. [ laughter ]

i just read about this. four men in maryland were arrested for stuffing video games down their pants at a toys 'r' us. [ light laughter ] it's not easy to fit video games in your pants. you have to have a very small wii. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ 301! 301! speaking of those dudes, the cast of "jersey shore --" [ scattered cheers ] they had a wrap party this week to mark the end of season three. in related news, god had a rap party this week to mark the end of his investment in humanity. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hey, did you hear about this? target has started selling facebook gift cards. available in values of $15, $20 and $50. yep, a facebook gift card is the

perfect way to tell someone, "i don't know what facebook is. [ laughter ] here's ten internet credits. [ laughter ] here's 15 facebookeries. go booking with them on your facebook." [ light laughter ] this isn't good, a man in new york was robbed at an off-track betting parlor after cashing in a $29,000 winning ticket. the man says it sucks to win and get absolutely nothing for it. to which horses were, like, "yeah, that must be really terrible. [ laughter ] that really sucks." and finally, a company in london is selling a new dress. it comes with a built-in cell phone. yeah. they said you can wear it to parties and get guys' attention, or put it on vibrate and stay home. [ laughter ] what does that mean? [ cheers ] >> steve: i don't know. >> jimmy: ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show, give it up

for the one and only roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ "beverly hills 90210" theme plays ] >> jimmy: happy "90210" day, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] september 2nd. yeah, hey, we've got a great show. before we get started, i'm very excited to announce a new "late-night" contest starting tonight. indie rock legends pavement are back together after an 11-year break. and we're giving one lucky person the chance to play guitar on stage with the band when they visit "late night" on september 23rd. so, in order to win -- [ scattered cheers ] -- you have to pick one of the pavement songs on our website and upload a video of you playing it. the band will be helping us pick our favorites. and then we'll have you at home vote on the finalists. you might get to play with pavement on our show. [ cheers and applause ]

you might get to play. all the details are at latenightwithjimmyfallon.com/ pavement. check it out. it's going to be super fun. [ cheers and applause ] what a show we have tonight, a fantastic show tonight. stopping over from her show at msnbc, our pal rachel maddow is here. what? [ cheers and applause ] i love rachel maddow. from the very funny show "delocated" on adult swim, the hilarious jon glaser is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] he's a funny dude. and i'm so excited, we have one of my favorite bands of all time, some great rock 'n' roll legends, heart will perform on our show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] these are just some of heart's songs. heart has "magic man," "crazy on you," "barracuda," "dog and butterfly." ♪ what about love [ light laughter ] and then -- ♪ how do i get you alone ann wilson, nancy wilson ripping it up on guitar.

they're here tonight to show you what's up! heart is in the house! [ cheers and applause ] i love that band! they're unbelievable! they'll blow your pants off. all right, guys. it's thursday. that means it's time to "remix the clips." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is where we take stuff we found on the internet and tv -- stuff that's funny, weird or interesting. and we have our very own questlove remix it. [ cheers and applause ] he does it live, and it's always very amazing. the first clip comes from "the real housewives of new jersey." [ scattered cheers ] [ light laughter ] now, i could describe this clip, but it's best that you just watch. these are two ladies speaking to each other. [ laughter ] take a look. >> oh, it's funny because they -- >> just don't ever bring up -- >> don't get in my face. >> do not break up my family! you [ bleep ] -- >> -- my face. >> do not break up my family!

you [ bleep ] >> out of my face. >> you piece of [ bleep ]. you [ bleep ] bitch. you mother [ bleep ] you are a piece of garbage! [ light laughter ] >> here. come here, teresa. >> you [ bleep ] bitch! >> come here. >> you [ bleep ] [ bleep ] bitch. >> come here. >> you [ bleep ] [ bleep ] have [ bleep ] her. because she's a [ bleep ] piece of [ bleep ]! you pig! she's a bitch! >> teresa, i want you to listen to me. >> she is [ bleep ]! baah! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: baah! you can yell all you want, but no one throws my man andy cohen out of the way like that. he was like -- [ laughter ] threw him into the chair. i was, like, "baah!" [ laughter ] this next clip comes from a show -- i love this dude. he does a fishing show, "bill dance outdoors." now, watch what happens when this guy -- [ laughter ] he gets his fishing rod too close to the ceiling fan.

[ light laughter ] watch. >> two coponenets -- gads, reel seat, as well as, the handle. a rod that's lightweight. it's extremely sensitive. [ laughter ] well, it's sensitive, all right. it's sensitive enough, and i felt that fan. dad gummit! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "dad gummit!" baah! [ cheers and applause ] he couldn't take it anymore. that's his version of "real housewives." "dad gummit!" [ laughter ] poor dude. our next clip, you're going to see is from a hog calling contest in illinois. this is kyle barton, who won the competition with this hog call. >> i've actually, grew up in the city. we'll see how well i do today. here pig pig pig pig. here pig pig pig pig pig pig piggy! [ snorting ]

[ laughter ] [ snorting continues ] [ cheers and applause ] thank you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "thank you. thank you, there." like you didn't just snort into the microphone for 30 seconds imitating a pig like it was so normal. "nailed it. thank -- thank you." [ laughter ] you just had a momentary lapse of reason. you were shaking and snot was flying out of your noise. [ light laughter ] "yeah, thank you. thank you very much." our last clip comes from cleveland, ohio's, fox affiliate wjw. a reporter -- here's the deal. a reporter was told to cover a bear sighting, a black bear sighting. but the bear wasn't there. so he improvised. [ light laughter ] check it out. >> sunday morning, right here along miles road. a jogger saw what they thought was a black bear, immediately

called police. but when police showed up, no sign of the bear. a few minutes later, the bear was spotted behind this home in moreland hills. this recreation identifies how witnesses say the bear escaped into the woods. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: what was that? what?! no one can tell, gary. no one can tell. [ laughter ] it looked like the bear was just running. [ laughter ] wearing his suit! oh, my god. all right, well, those are the four clips we have today. questlove, let's see what you can do, buddy. ♪

♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: questlove right here! amazing, buddy. we'll be right back with "dance your hat and gloves off"! we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ boss: and now i'll turn it over to the gecko.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. and thank you for watching our show. it's time for the mother of all games. it's time to play "dance your hat and gloves off"! ♪ ♪ dance your hat and gloves off come on and dance them off ♪ >> jimmy: welcome to "dance your hat and gloves off." release -- release the mirror ball. there you go. [ cheers ] smooth at silk. smooth as silk. now, this is the game where we put hats and gloves on people and make them dance until they fall off. higgins, who's on the dance floor tonight? >> steve: jimmy, coming to the stage are anthony tavares, judith brown and clayton gallan. come on down and dance your hat and/or gloves off. ♪ >> jimmy: looks like a fine dance crew tonight. what is your name? >> my name's anthony. >> judith. >> clayton. >> anthony.

>> judith. >> clayton. >> anthony. >> judith. >> clayton. >> jimmy: jimmy. >> anthony. >> judith. >> clayton. ♪ >> jimmy: jimmy. >> anthony. >> judith. >> clayton. ♪ >> anthony. >> judith. >> clayton. >> jimmy: jimmy. ♪ >> anthony! >> judith! >> clayton! >> jimmy: jimmy! ♪ >> anthony! >> jimmy: jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] okay, here we go. now, are you guys ready to shake your freaky feet to the funky beat? >> yes. >> oh, yeah. >> yes. >> oh, yeah! ♪ >> yep. >> of course. >> oh, no. >> jimmy: okay, cool. then let's bring out the hats! and let's bring out the gloves! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. there they are right there. the latest in back-to-school fashions. fluorescent for your pleasure. here we go. all right, everybody. put them on. make sure they all fit. make sure your hat's on super snug and tight.

and get ready. hi. >> hi. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> good. how are you? >> jimmy: good! all right. put them on. make sure they're on good. all good. put your hat on, there it is. the last, final ingredient. perfect, you guys look like a a radioactive cleanup crew. this is fantastic. [ laughter ] all right, now, when i say "dance," the roots will start playing a funky disco jam, and you'll have 15 seconds to fling your hat and gloves off. scoring is simple, one point for each glove you get off, two for the hat. whoever gets the most points wins the grand prize. and oh, what a prize it is. hig-bone? >> steve: well, jimmy, tonight's winner will be taking home 300 one dollar bills. methodically stuffed inside a brand-new trapper keeper. [ cheers and applause ] a must-have for this back-to-school season. to hell with homework. you roll into class with this bad boy, and your teacher's gonna be like, "what?" ♪ jimmy >> jimmy: wow, a nice trapper keeper. very cool and extremely practical. higgins, you did all your back-to-school shopping last week, didn't you? >> steve: i did, in fact. took the littlest one -- this is the cutest story.

he looked at me -- you know, he just lost a tooth -- and he went -- >> jimmy: now, ladies and everybody, at no time can you touch the hat or gloves. [ laughter ] [ audience aws ] what was it he said to you? >> steve: he said, "puppy." >> jimmy: at no time can you touch the hat or gloves, nor can anything touch you. [ light laughter ] basically, you have to whip your arms and head around as crazy as you can, until everything flies off. that's the only way to get them off. also, please keep in mind in the event of a tie, our great audience will judge based on your dancing skills. so bring it, please. you guys ready? [ cheers and applause ] all right, contestant one, get over there, buddy. audience, cheer him on. ready, set, dance! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

[ buzzer ] >> jimmy: ah, nice try. [ audience aws ] i think i met you at bonnaroo once. [ laughter ] >> one time. >> jimmy: one time. you thought my face was a flaming skull. >> oh, yeah, i remember that. >> jimmy: let's look at this in slow motion what you just did. ♪ this was pretty good. ♪ very, very nice. good moves, good style. higgins, how many points? >> steve: zero! [ sad tuba ] >> jimmy: oh! okay. >> steve: he brought it, though. >> jimmy: next contestant, you are up. go on over there, buddy. all right, let's hear it, audience. ready, set, dance! ♪

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, very, very nice. come on over. you got the hat off. very, very nice. [ scattered applause ] exhausted. how do you feel? >> got it. >> jimmy: okay. very, very good. let's see that once again in slow motion, please. ♪ very, very nice. beautiful, beautiful. [ cheers and applause ] looked like a swan on fire. higgins, how many points? [ drum roll ] ♪ oh, you got deuce, two points! you're in the lead. okay, last contestant, you've got to beat two. all right, buddy, you think you can do it? >> i think so. i'm ready. >> jimmy: okay, all right. you look ready. [ light laughter ] get on over there. it's up to you. audience, let's cheer him on. [ cheers ] ready, set, dance!

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was exciting! that was exciting! that was the best we've ever seen! can we see that in slow motion, please? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] wow! there's one! there's right there for the win. oh, my gosh, the victory dance. that was fantastic. higgins, how many points? [ cheers ] >> steve: whoo! five! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: congratulations. here's your trapper keeper filled with cash, my friend. there you go, my friend. and of course, nobody goes home -- [ cheers and applause ] nobody goes home empty-handed. please take home these "late night with jimmy fallon" t-shirts for you guys right

there. thank you so much for playing. and thanks to you all, you boys and girls and far-out chicks and cool cat kids, from the greaser dudes and the hipster guys to the disco queens and the cutie pies. you gotta keep your eyes glued to the tube, 'because we got the moves that you wanna do, and you know it's true. [ light laughter ] no fabrication or hesitation, it's a dance gyration -- [ light laughter ] that's sweeping the nation. take one part hat and two parts gloves, a disco ball and a lot of love, then shake it up and spin your head and a flip your hands for the friends and fans out in tv land. just do your best, you know the rest, and there's one more thing i must confess. i got a third nipple on my chest. [ laughter ] it's pretty cool, it's pretty sweet, in high school they called me "triple teet." [ laughter ] and that's not all, there's more to tell, between my butt cheeks is a little tail. [ laughter ] it's no big deal, i was born with it, and if i try real hard, i can wiggle it. [ laughter ] holy cow, i'm doing it now! so just sit right back, and go hack your sack, and don't touch that dial, 'cause we'll be right back, with rachel maddow, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. our first guest is the host of

the popular "rachel maddow show," which airs every weeknight at 9:00 p.m. on msnbc. we love it when she comes by. say hello to our good friend, rachel maddow, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very, very nice. nice to see you again. >> nice so see you too. >> jimmy: as always. i love when you come by. >> i have such roots derived happiness every time i arrive to see you. >> jimmy: you do? >> it makes me happy. [ scattered cheers ] >> jimmy: yeah, the roots make people happy. that's what we want to do on our show. now we're going to make people think. >> oh, god. >> jimmy: no, no, no. we'll have fun. >> all right, let's -- >> jimmy: we can talk about some -- some politics. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: maybe like, president obama, the big story. the iraq is now -- >> different. >> jimmy: new dawn? >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's called now, "operation new dawn." >> "operation new dawn." which -- it's a bad name. >> jimmy: it's not a good name.

>> it's a bad name. it sounds ironic. >> jimmy: it sounds like a "twilight" movie. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: doesn't it? >> it sounds like the third in a series of something. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: so it's "operation new dawn." >> "operation new dawn." >> jimmy: how do you think the president handled this whole thing? >> well, you know, he gave the speech that you need to give, because it is "operation iraqi freedom," 7 1/2 years becomes "operation new dawn" which is not a combat mission. and so, everybody's very nudgy about saying "the war is over" because of george bush in the flight suit on the aircraft carrier saying everything's fine when it really wasn't. but you sort of have to market and make it a very serious speech. the president very much wants to be not divisive. and he does not talk about george bush. and he doesn't like to talk about bush policies, but it was sort of weird, i think, to talk about the war ending and then not talk about what the war was for. about how it started. and so i think obama's never going to be the kind of president who says, "hey, this war was a bad idea, huh?" but that's sort of the subtext

to the whole idea that it's ending. so it's -- i was just in iraq. i just got back. i was in baghdad this month. and there's 50,000 americans still there. and it's still a very dangerous place. and the war was a really bad idea in the first place. >> jimmy: it really was, yeah. and how long were you there? >> i was there about a week. >> jimmy: that's probably long enough, huh? >> yeah. well, it's hot. in baghdad in august is lovely this time of year. >> jimmy: and where do you stay? do you stay in a hotel? >> no, i flew in commercial and spent time out in baghdad. but we stayed in the green zone. and the green zone is weird. they've carved off this whole huge part of the city and decided to call it the international zone. they don't want you to call it the green zone anymore because that implies that everything outside the green zone is the red zone. so instead they call it the international zone, which is much more sort of like a hotel term. >> jimmy: when tgi fridays became tgif. we're not that place, we're a new place. >> or kentucky fried chicken isn't fried anymore, they're just kentucky f. chicken. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: kentucky f. chicken. we don't want to say fried. we're just kfc.

>> we're just kfc. >> jimmy: we're just having fun. >> we're "f" chicken. [ laughter ] but the weird thing is when you leave the international zone, don't call it the green zone. and you go into baghdad proper to go meet with people in baghdad, everybody in the military still says, "you're going into the red zone!" >> jimmy: yeah. >> well, you know -- >> jimmy: they all know it. they all know it. double down is two chicken breasts and bacon and a piece of cheese. tasty sandwich. >> messy. >> jimmy: yeah. speak of tasty sandwiches, you went to new orleans recently. >> yeah, i've had had a lot of travel this summer. >> jimmy: yeah, what is going down. >> i went to afghanistan and then i was back for a couple weeks and then i went to iraq and then right away after going to iraq, i went to new orleans. >> jimmy: now the shows -- you're going there with your show? >> yeah. you know, and it's -- and i should say this, that it is sort of an acknowledged truth in the new business, that whenever you leave your studio, your ratings go down. no matter where you're going, even if you're going to cover something very exciting, your ratings go down. it just happens when you leave the studio. and so it is this big sacrifice for the company to say, "yeah, maddow. you can go and take your show to

these places and do reporting and learn this stuff." and i feel like i do learn so much. the learning curve, once you go to these places, it's like -- you learn so much. so i feel like it's really cool that the company lets me go because ratings go down every time we do it. >> jimmy: yeah, but now they're back up. you're back home. and you went to new orleans. >> new orleans, i'm still full. i got back from new orleans on saturday. i am still full. i'm like one meal a day. >> jimmy: there's a lot of food there. >> oh, my gosh. >> jimmy: they love food there. >> i would eat, like, six or seven meals a day. >> jimmy: training for iron man or something. [ laughter ] >> you don't think that you are. it's just that everything involves a po-boy like no matter what you're doing. >> jimmy: mother? did you go to that place? >> no, i went to parkway though. i went where obama went when he went with his daughters. >> jimmy: i heard mother's is the way to go. >> really? >> jimmy: yeah, i also heard that's the po-boy. >> want to go back and eat? >> jimmy: yeah. no, you just eat -- they just serve you so much. it's insane. food and drink. >> oh, yeah, the drink. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. i mean, that's so good. >> i had a dinner at commander's palace, which is this, like,

institution, like, amazing fancy restaurant in new orleans the last night that we were there. and i had seven rounds of cocktails with dinner. >> jimmy: you were -- you were an ace. you were mixologist, i would say. you were an ace at making cocktails. when we come back, if you don't mind, you're going to teach me cocktails. >> you want to do seven rounds? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i can't. i've already done five. [ laughter ] when we come back, cocktails with rachel maddow, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ it's not back-to-school, it's forward to what's next with an hp netbook, samsung reality, or lg cosmos for under $20 after rebate.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. it is cocktail time. we're back with the great rachel maddow. now, you just came back from new orleans. and you're going to teach me a classic new orleans drink, the sazerac. >> the sazerac. the sazerac in new orleans is -- it's considered a morning drink. which tells you all that is wonderful about new orleans. because there's really nothing in it except booze. >> jimmy: yeah, some crazy booze. >> so this is -- all right. so, you know how absinthe was illegal and it's not illegal anymore. when absinthe -- >> jimmy: the absinthe people were crazy -- wormwood and people would trip out. >> wormwood and cut off your ears and stuff, whatever. but, it was gone and now it's back. >> jimmy: it's fun. it's fun beverage. >> but while it was gone, everybody got sort of their own absinth substitute. and the one that they drank in new orleans was called herbsaint. so you start with -- >> jimmy: herbsink? >> herbsaint. h-e-r-b-s-a-i-n-t.

>> jimmy: herbsaint was our original producer of this show. [ light laughter ] >> all right, so i'm gonna do one of these and you do one of these. what you're trying to do is just get all the herbsaint all over the inside of the glass just to coat the glass. >> jimmy: okey-doke. the whole glass? >> the whole glass. that's without spilling. and then just throw it out. >> jimmy: throw it out. >> come on, just throw it out. >> jimmy: okay, i just threw. >> just throw it out. >> jimmy: i just threw on my dvd collection of "felicity." [ laughter ] now i can't watch "felicity." i'm really bummed. [ laughter ] >> we're just gonna get the glasses cold and hersainty while we do the real work. >> jimmy: oh, it smells nice. >> yeah, it smells like -- >> jimmy: absinthe, i guess. >> like morning. >> jimmy: it's like a licorice jellybean. >> yeah, it's like licorice and i don't feel hung over anymore, combined. >> jimmy: i would never drink this is the morning, but okay. >> well, it depends on your morning. >> jimmy: that's true. maybe i just don't go to sleep. >> it depends on your night. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly, yeah. >> okay, so, those are getting cold. now, will you cut me two lemon twists with that vegetable peeler there? you want then to be big and thin. >> jimmy: big and thin? >> big and thin? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm all ready confused, that's like -- >> you want it to be sort of long and wide but not very deep

in -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how'd i do? >> that's a little small. see if you can do a bigger one. >> jimmy: big and thin. >> yeah. rye whiskey. >> jimmy: it's confusing, it's like m.c. esher drawing. what is -- >> that's better. >> jimmy: that's good, yeah? >> a little better, yeah. >> jimmy: do i pull it towards me? >> pull it towards you, don't be afraid. [ light laughter ] yes! >> jimmy: was that good? >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay, good. [ cheers and applause ] all right, so i got this guy, he's in there, these guys are in here. >> i put some rye whiskey in there and little bit of sugar. and, now, this is the secret ingredient, peychaud's bitters. very hard to find, they're really spicy and delicious. and they're bright red. >> jimmy: you can get it off the internet probably? >> yeah, from your bitters friends. one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. >> jimmy: eight? >> eight dashes -- where's making two cocktails. >> jimmy: eight dashes of bitters. >> and a little bit of angostura -- i did not know you put -- ooh! oh, god. [ laughter ] [ sad tuba ] [ applause ]

>> jimmy: that is like -- why would you drink -- why would anyone want to drink that. >> it's sort of like you just drank the condiment. [ light laughter ] it's like you just took like a big spoonful of ketchup. >> jimmy: something that taste like listerine boiled down. [ laughter ] >> yeah, with a little like dirt thrown in. >> jimmy: gosh, with a little cinnamon to it? >> yeah, it's got like a million herbs and spices. so, the idea with bitters is that there's supposed to be like -- they're like an additive. they're not an ingredient. you're not supposed to drink them straight. >> jimmy: thank you. okay good. >> you can try the other one, that would be funny. >> jimmy: what is this one? no, i'm not drinking that one too. this is what one? >> angostura, that's like traditional bitters that go in everything. >> jimmy: i've learned my lesson. [ laughter ] >> take those out. those don't there yet, sorry. >> jimmy: are you throwing it? >> i'm throwing the stuff away. >> jimmy: i'm sorry. >> so these are our sazeracs. >> jimmy: okay. >> and then we're going to do the lemon twists once they're poured out here. sorry, i'm making a mess. >> jimmy: no, this is perfect. >> okay. see, it's a morning drink. it's a little short drink, very medicinal, it's gonna wake you right up. >> jimmy: yeah, i'm gonna be wasted by the time heart is

playing tonight. >> yeah -- [ laughter ] [ scattered cheers ] >> jimmy: so is my audience, this is fantastic. >> like that. >> jimmy: okay. >> we're getting a little lemon oil on it like this. >> i know you're terrified of this because you drank the bitters, but you're gonna taste it and you're gonna love it. >> jimmy: cheers. >> to new orleans. >> jimmy: to new orleans. [ cheers and applause ] >> hurts so good? is that what you're thinking? >> i think i have a full beard right now. [ laughter ] "the rachel maddow show" airs nightly on msnbc at 9:00 p.m. rachel maddow, everybody! jon glaser joins us. he's right there in the bud light lime green room. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ -♪ crimping -♪ and cutting ♪ and hair finger twirling ♪ threading my hair through some bright coloured rings ♪ ♪ these are a few of my favourite things ♪ ♪ when the curls break ♪ when the ends split ♪ when my hair goes mad ♪ i simply remember my favourite thing ♪ ♪ and then i don't feel ♪ so bad [ female announcer ] we all damage our hair.

dove damage therapy with fiber actives takes care of the damage. ♪ well, if you come from the hood ♪ ♪ or ya come from the burbs ♪ got the fellas up in here tonight ♪ ♪ ♪ we at the block party having fun ♪ can you believe some guys have never tried a mike's hard lemonade because they've seen women drink it? we don't have those kinds of issues. hi there. thank you. no we don't. [ male announcer ] don't forget the mike's. lemonade for grown-ups. [ male announcer ] don't forget the mike's. lcan feel like a jungle of ifs. to steer clear of the confusion, go to metlife.com. you'll get straight answers. like how much you need and how much it costs. so you can make the best decision for your family. go to metlife.com today.

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a funny, funny, funny man nominated for five emmy awards as a writer.

he's also the creator and star of the hilarious adult swim comedy series, "delocated." please welcome jon glaser, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ we're the slipnuts slipping on nuts when i show off we're slipping on nuts ♪ ♪ we're the slipnuts slipping on nuts oops, he fell down oops, he fell down ♪ >> i slipped on some nuts. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you look fantastic, my man. that was beautiful. >> it started sinking in late, and then i realized what it was. then i slipped on some nuts. >> jimmy: what's up, my man? >> when you hear that song, you have to slip on nuts. >> jimmy: yeah. you've always said that. >> people in the know are cracking up. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what -- how are you? how have you been? >> i'm good. i've been great. i just slipped on some nuts. i'm feeling awesome. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i know you're feeling awesome. what is this outfit that you got on?

>> this is from the upcoming season of "delocated." it's a motorcycle uniform complete with a fantastic stars and stripes patch on the back which you saw as i came out. i'll display it again. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is your logo. >> america! [ light laughter ] that's not my logo. that's america's -- that's our, logo. [ cheers and applause ] it belongs to all of us. >> jimmy: that's not america's logo at all. >> not at all. >> jimmy: not at all. >> it should be. >> jimmy: it should be. yeah, maybe. >> it will be. >> jimmy: it won't. [ laughter ] >> it won't? >> jimmy: no. but, it's a ski mask. let me explain what "delocated" is -- it's a very, very funny, interesting show, i would say. you play a guy who rats out the russian mob. and so, now, he's in the witness protection program. but in the meantime, he gets offered a reality show. and he accepts it. so that he has to wear a ski mask and his voice is changed, it's garbled for his own reality show. >> yeah, so he can remain anonymous while being on camera. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it is an unbelievable

show. it's like an exercise, a workout for your brain to watch this show. it makes me laugh so hard. >> it's an exercise in obnoxiousness. >> jimmy: it's very funny. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i saw a billboard, i was out in l.a. i happened to see a billboard. this is right by chateau marmont. >> yeah. >> jimmy: look at this billboard. there you go. that's you there. [ laughter ] that really has nothing to do with -- >> best part right there. foot on knee. >> jimmy: gross. [ laughter ] it is pretty gross. that's pretty disgusting. >> there's a lot of gross touchings. >> jimmy: that has nothing to do with your show really. >> it has nothing to do with the show, and it actually sums up the show perfectly right there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there is no supermodels in your -- >> that sums up the show. no, the foot and the knee pretty much sums up the show. >> jimmy: why, because you're just that -- >> that obnoxious. [ laughter ] and that gross. >> jimmy: it is ridiculous though. so this is the second season of "delocated." and in this season, it's pretty awful. your wife and everyone leaves you. >> yeah, my wife and my son,

they leave me in the very first episode in the pilot and leave me on my own. become single, gets a girlfriend, but then people start dying. a lot spectacular murders this season. it's pretty -- a couple cute murders. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's not what you call them. that's not how you describe a murder at all. >> some murders are cute. >> jimmy: no, they're not. >> murder is like art. it's in the eye of the beholder. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let's agree to disagree, is that okay? >> that's definitely -- we'll agree to disagree to agree. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: to a degree. >> to a degree, very nice. >> jimmy: you have events with "delocated" where you have people come on, everyone wears a ski mask, and people disguise their voice and it's -- you have burlesque dancers, yo la tengo came dressed in a ski mask. >> yeah, i've done some live shows just around town. like, some witness protection program variety shows. [ light laughter ] various performances, stand-ups, we had a ventriloquist, the dummy had the mask on. [ laughter ] these burlesque dancers, yes, yo la tengo was kind enough to do a

show and they wore the mask and had the voices altered and it was pretty nice to hear them sing -- i think they sang "sugarcube." >> jimmy: do you do anything? >> i've done some singing in the shows, and it's very fun and i think that i would be great if we did it right now. >> jimmy: let's do it. [ cheers and applause ] we have your stuff here. you wanna do it? >> hold that for me. >> yep. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, there it is. now, they're going to disguise your voice. [ voice modifier ] >> let's test this out. [ laughter and applause ] this is how we talk on the show. ♪ ♪ 'cause i live and breathe it's philadelphia freedom from the day that i was born i've waved the flag ♪ ♪ philadelphia freedom took me knee-high to a man, yeah ♪ ♪ gave me piece of mind my daddy never had ♪

♪ philadelphia freedom shine on me i love you ♪ ♪ shine a light to look out of the through the eyes ♪ ♪ of the ones left behind shine a light shine a light shine a light ♪ ♪ won't you shine a light philadelphia freedom i love you, yes i do ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to jon glaser. up next, a song from heart. come on back. >> thank you. thank you so much [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guests are rock and roll legends. i'm so happy they're here. their first album in six years, "red velvet car," was just released. here to play a song from it called "wtf," please welcome heart! [ cheers and applause ]

♪ how much talking does it take talking 'bout your bad mistakes gonna talk you wide awake ♪ ♪ talk until your ego breaks the past is dust undo concern there's hell to pay and it's your turn ♪ ♪ the hardest thing you'll ever learn is what bridge to cross and what bridge to burn ♪ ♪ what bridge to cross and what bridge to burn ♪ ♪

♪ how much talking does it take talk 'bout your bad mistakes ♪ ♪ i'm gonna talk you wide awake talk until your ego breaks yeah ♪ ♪ ♪ what bridge to cross and what bridge to burn what bridge to cross and what bridge to burn ♪ ♪ what bridge to cross and what bridge to burn ♪

♪ ♪ what bridge to cross and what bridge to burn what bridge to cross and what bridge to burn ♪ ♪ what bridge to cross and what bridge to burn what bridge to cross and what bridge to burn ♪ ♪ what bridge to cross and what bridge to burn ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow! come on, i love it!

thank you, thank you. heart, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] check out the album, "red velvet car." go to latenightwithjimmyfallon.com for an exclusive, bonus performance. my thanks to rachel maddow, jon glaser, heart! [ cheers and applause ] and the greatest band in late night, the roots right there! [ cheers and applause ] stay-tuned for "carson daly." thanks for watching. have a good night. hope to see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ captions paid for by nbc-universal television captions by vitac www.vitac.com ♪ >> carson: we've taken to the streets, bringing you shows from some of the coolest music venues. i got a great one for you. >> it's complicated. >> you know what i mean? >> whatever, whatever. >> carson: there he is. it's all good. hollywood, california. >> carson: what do you say there, everybody? carson daly "last call" upon your tv screen again. coming to you from venice,

california. i'm in one of my favorite places. it's been here since 1915, it's call townuse. back in the day, literally the prohibition era, this was the spot. tonight of the show, i'll start with our "last call" "spotlight." there's a nasa astronaut named mike massimino who went up and fixed the hubble telescope. we've got some great images from it. but first, we went over to hollywood, set up shop at blt steak on sunset and talked to my good buddy bobby ray aka b.o.b from atlanta georgia. he made his debut on our show back a year ago. he came out with a debut, "the adventures of bobby ray." number one. and he's all over the radio right now. i had a chance to sit down with bobby and have a little chat. here he is. ♪ >> carson: i can't tell you how happy i am for you, bobby. you know, i feel like -- i talked to you a little on the radio, but it's great to have you on the "late night" show because we got a chance to "spotlight" you over a year ago now, i think. do you remember that, when you were down melrose? >> yeah, that was back when i was performing in my wife beater on stage.

my name is bobby ray and my occupation is making ground shaking phenomenal music. ♪ >> carson: what has happened from then to now? >> from then to now, man, my live has definitely changed dramatically. ♪ >> carson: you know, what i really want to talk you about today is your story because it's such a great one. so just take me back a little bit to when you started being so prolific as a writer. you were 13 right? i mean, you were young. and what motivated you to go down this artistic path? >> it started as self therapy. it started just as me having issues and -- >> carson: what were the issues? >> i was really withdrawn and aloof. you know, middle school, pubescent. you know, darkness. you're just like going through puberty, i hate life. you know what i mean? >> carson: you were a wb sitcom is what you're saying. >> gosh, do you want to go the